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Monday, June 28, 2010
Foundations Reflection
The Fierce conversations had a major impact on me. I had never realized the effect of being direct, in all conversations, can have on the content and sincerity of a conversation. The two points that really impacted me were the ideas of “conversations vs. versations” and the belief that one single conversation can, but is not guaranteed to, change your life.
After the distinction between a conversation and a versation was defined, I reflected on my own conversations. I had to ask myself, “Self, how many people in your life do you have true conversations with?” I quickly realized the answer was dependant on the environment and other person. Talking with family is a majority of versations. I notice that what begins as a conversation ends up as a versation, where I am talked at, instead of a back and forth exchange. The Fierce techniques taught me how I can reel the dialogue back into a two-sided conversation. Maintaining those two-sides will help keep me engaged in what that person is saying. Ensuring there is directness in the conversation will keep me from disengagement.
My plan is: after our greeting and limited small talk (because it is family, I believe you have to engage in some of that) I will make sure to ask, “What is the most important thing we need to talk about today?” With that approach I believe I will be able to give those few people the continual attention they deserve, and hopefully help them work through the issues they truly need help addressing. Aside from a few family members I’ve noticed ironically that most conversations I have with my close friends are, for the most part, legitimate, true conversations. There is engagement in the conversation from both parties, and a desire to help one another through issues while providing support. I imagine that is why we call friends the family you choose. So really, at this point, my personal conversations with family members can benefit the most from my Fierce training.
The quote about a single conversation having the ability to change a life enthralled me because it was so true! My first thought was about the conversation I had with a mentor who introduced me to the IAL program. That conversation changed my life. It changed the direction my life was heading, my focus and my view of the future. I didn’t need any more proof that this Fierce model was legit. But of course I had another moment where that saying proved to be true. Thursday morning during the internship presentations I was able to recognize this theory in action. After I spoke with Ann at the showcase, I knew that my internship worries were about to get a little better. Through our sole conversation I was given the opportunity to talk a second time about an internship, ultimately receiving an offer.
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